he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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