I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
