just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I had to cum in my sink.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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