I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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