So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
