"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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