he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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