I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
