I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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