Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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