Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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