my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
