There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
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"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
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i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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