First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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