addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
