and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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