Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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