Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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