So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
