Your mouth is God's brothel.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
