so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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