Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
