oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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