Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
