doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
wanna go halves on a baby?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
