don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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