Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
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His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
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that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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