Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
