Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
