ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
this hospital has no fireball
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
