Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
