We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
