Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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