I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
