apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I am available for nakedness
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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