So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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