i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize