I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
