I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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