I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
