I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
