Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
