Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
