New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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