pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You were trust falling into bushes
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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