they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
