franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
