Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
