Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
