well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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