I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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