I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Don't make out with my wife yet
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
