walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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