they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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