So drunk its hurt
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
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Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
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My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize