I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
