Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
