and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake ๐
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip ๐๐๐
Your skills amaze me
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Heโs like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if heโs shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know Iโve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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