Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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