Can i not drive my cunt home
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
