Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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