my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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