Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
