Quick, to the slutcave!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
