"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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